GRANDKIDS
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter,
as she'd done many times before.. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.....
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire, it hung from a tree in our front yard We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are
alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''...... "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies
followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure..." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and
add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman
came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use
him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said
another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15.. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
I hope this brings as many smiles and chuckles to you as it did me.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
LAUGHTER IS NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL
IT IS A MUST THAT YOU READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS EMAIL FOR THE FULL EXPERIENCE TO BE UNDERSTOOD. LAUGHTER IS A REQUIREMENT TO GET THE FULL BENEFIT.
The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them
Without laughter your belly
button will unscrew and your
butt will fall off.
Really.... It's true
The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them
Without laughter your belly
button will unscrew and your
butt will fall off.
Really.... It's true
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Fall is for Changes
This is such a wonderful time of year, as the weather is cooling down, the color of the leaves are changing bringing out wonderful scenery. This is also a time that some people begin watching their weight or cut back on their food intake as not to overindulge for the upcoming holidays. For me, my weight has been an issue for me because there is a long history of obesity from both my mother's and my father's families and I have seen first hand how it has affected lives of the entire family. Both of my grandmothers had diabetes and both my mother and father faced the challenge of diabetes as they grew to the retirement age. After my father died at the age of 62 from complications of diabetes, I knew that was not a condition I ever wanted to have and I also wanted to live my life to the fullest.
I did not have a weight issued until after I had given birth to my first child at the age 19, my documented weight went from 137 to 217 on delivery day. I was profoundly depressed when the weight would not come off. I knew then the fight was on. When my daughter was three months old I started my own exercise regiment of walking, common workout exercises of 1 to 2 hours a day in order to loose the weight. Then when my daughter was 13 months old, I again was pregnant with my second child, but this time I continued my work our routine and for the entire pregnancy only gained 16 pounds and 8 pounds 6.5 ounces was all baby. By the time my son was 3 months old I had lost all the weight I had gained and continued to loose unwanted pounds until I was back to that 137 pounds I was content at being. However, there were people who told me I was to thin since I was 5 foot 11 inches in height.
That was 27 years ago, and many changes have happened along the way. Now I have to say my control on my weight has been a roller coaster ride. I have bounced around from 137 at my lowest to my heaviest 289. I reached my highest weight after the death of my brother, I found myself in a depression that my comfort was food and sleeping. It was not until my son told me that he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby did I snap out of it.
I took a long look in the mirror and did not like what I saw and I knew no one but myself could do anything about it. I knew that I have tried every fad diet that was on the market and with each I would lose 10 to 20 pounds and that was where it stopped and it was frustrating. It was even more frustrating when I would go to the doctor and they would say increase exercise and decrease my food intake. This made mo sense to me since my exercise consisted of power walking 8 miles a day, and my daily diet included a SlimFast shake for breakfast and dinner with a salad for lunch. So needless to say the advice I was getting did not improve my weight lose. I then took everything about my weight lose program into my own hands and I was determined to loose the weight and without loosing my health along the way.
I have a treasured friend that lives in South Africa that I had told of my frustration of not loosing the weight that was I felt holding me back from being my best. He in turn sent me a diet that a physician friend of his that specializes in cancer treatments gave to him. This diet consists of mainly fruit, yes that is right fruit. I was instructed to have a serving of uncooked fruit before every meal or as the first course of my meals. I thought this was crazy, but for me it was not a hard thing since I am one who loves fruit. All fruit is good as long as it is not cooked. Also for between meal snacks was to be fruit, and before bed snack was to be fruit if there was a need for one.
May 01, 2010 I started my diet with the fruit concept added, within the first 3 weeks I was averaging 1 to 2 pounds of weight loss daily. I did away with all fried foods, fatty foods, and as a personal choice very little meat. To supplement my diet, I cleaned out my cabinets of all weight loss pills and instead of wasting the money I spent on them I decided to rotate them in with my food diet. I had the Hoodia diet plan, the Syntra5 plan and the Ultimate Twin Cleanse diet and the Acai berry diet, and the Slim Quick plan. After I had gathered all these onto my dining room table I estimated that I had invested hundreds of dollars in all these plans that each one alone did not accomplish my weight loss goal.
This following plan is working for me, and I am not saying it will not work for everyone, but it is working for me and I am documenting my diary of my diet and weight loss program and how it is working for me. As I stated I started this at my highest weight of 289 pounds, with a goal to loose 140 pounds in a healthy manner. I began by following a diet high in fruit, yogurt, vegetables, minimal meat, bread, rice, and potatoes and no fried foods at all. Each day I would take a different diet plan pills as directed on their bottles along with my vitamins and pre-menopause treatment. Within the first 30 days, I was loosing 2 pounds daily on average. Doctors and weight management professionals will tell you do not weigh everyday, but I found weighing every morning and every night helped me to see how which foods I was eating would support my weight loss or would increase my weight. This was the key for me, I would write in my diary what I ate each meal, everyday and weighing everyday I was able to see what foods were best for me and which diet supplement was working the best at bringing the weight off.
Today, October 03, 2010, I am weighing 232 pounds and I am still averaging 1 to 2 pounds a day, the only time I see my weight have a high fluctuation is the week prior to my menstrual cycle, the week during, and the week after. I have found that the week prior I have gained upwards to six pounds, then during the week of I will loose the access from the week before along with as much as 3 - 5 extra pounds, and finally the week after I have continued to maintain the average of 1 to 3 pounds.
The positive aspects I have found with this weight loss program I have designed for myself is that it is working for me and I cannot say that it will work for everyone, but I am healthier than I have been for the last three years, I have no signs of diabetes, high blood pressure, or cholesterol problems. I will continue to use this plan and modify it to maintain my weight loss until I have reached my goal. Once I have reached my goal I will share my documentation of any and all modifications so others can benefit from my diet and research that I am doing along the way of this journey.
We have all heard that once you pass that 40 year mark everything gets harder, I have to say that for me it has not gotten harder as my determination has gotten stronger. I have found that I spent my 20's and 30's focusing on being the mother to my children that they needed me to be, and during my 40's I was a first time grandmother and I was assisting my daughter parent my grandson. Today, at 49 years young, grandmother of 2 beautiful grandsons, I find myself at my healthiest point in over 20 years, and I am finding pleasures and peace of mind that I did not realize I would be having at this point in my life. I hope that this will give to those that have been wanting to know how I have been loosing my weight and looking younger than most of my friends my age, as well as have so much more energy then my children have and they complain they cannot keep up with me. Life has been hard, but I have received so many blessings that I can honestly say life has been good.
I did not have a weight issued until after I had given birth to my first child at the age 19, my documented weight went from 137 to 217 on delivery day. I was profoundly depressed when the weight would not come off. I knew then the fight was on. When my daughter was three months old I started my own exercise regiment of walking, common workout exercises of 1 to 2 hours a day in order to loose the weight. Then when my daughter was 13 months old, I again was pregnant with my second child, but this time I continued my work our routine and for the entire pregnancy only gained 16 pounds and 8 pounds 6.5 ounces was all baby. By the time my son was 3 months old I had lost all the weight I had gained and continued to loose unwanted pounds until I was back to that 137 pounds I was content at being. However, there were people who told me I was to thin since I was 5 foot 11 inches in height.
That was 27 years ago, and many changes have happened along the way. Now I have to say my control on my weight has been a roller coaster ride. I have bounced around from 137 at my lowest to my heaviest 289. I reached my highest weight after the death of my brother, I found myself in a depression that my comfort was food and sleeping. It was not until my son told me that he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby did I snap out of it.
I took a long look in the mirror and did not like what I saw and I knew no one but myself could do anything about it. I knew that I have tried every fad diet that was on the market and with each I would lose 10 to 20 pounds and that was where it stopped and it was frustrating. It was even more frustrating when I would go to the doctor and they would say increase exercise and decrease my food intake. This made mo sense to me since my exercise consisted of power walking 8 miles a day, and my daily diet included a SlimFast shake for breakfast and dinner with a salad for lunch. So needless to say the advice I was getting did not improve my weight lose. I then took everything about my weight lose program into my own hands and I was determined to loose the weight and without loosing my health along the way.
I have a treasured friend that lives in South Africa that I had told of my frustration of not loosing the weight that was I felt holding me back from being my best. He in turn sent me a diet that a physician friend of his that specializes in cancer treatments gave to him. This diet consists of mainly fruit, yes that is right fruit. I was instructed to have a serving of uncooked fruit before every meal or as the first course of my meals. I thought this was crazy, but for me it was not a hard thing since I am one who loves fruit. All fruit is good as long as it is not cooked. Also for between meal snacks was to be fruit, and before bed snack was to be fruit if there was a need for one.
May 01, 2010 I started my diet with the fruit concept added, within the first 3 weeks I was averaging 1 to 2 pounds of weight loss daily. I did away with all fried foods, fatty foods, and as a personal choice very little meat. To supplement my diet, I cleaned out my cabinets of all weight loss pills and instead of wasting the money I spent on them I decided to rotate them in with my food diet. I had the Hoodia diet plan, the Syntra5 plan and the Ultimate Twin Cleanse diet and the Acai berry diet, and the Slim Quick plan. After I had gathered all these onto my dining room table I estimated that I had invested hundreds of dollars in all these plans that each one alone did not accomplish my weight loss goal.
This following plan is working for me, and I am not saying it will not work for everyone, but it is working for me and I am documenting my diary of my diet and weight loss program and how it is working for me. As I stated I started this at my highest weight of 289 pounds, with a goal to loose 140 pounds in a healthy manner. I began by following a diet high in fruit, yogurt, vegetables, minimal meat, bread, rice, and potatoes and no fried foods at all. Each day I would take a different diet plan pills as directed on their bottles along with my vitamins and pre-menopause treatment. Within the first 30 days, I was loosing 2 pounds daily on average. Doctors and weight management professionals will tell you do not weigh everyday, but I found weighing every morning and every night helped me to see how which foods I was eating would support my weight loss or would increase my weight. This was the key for me, I would write in my diary what I ate each meal, everyday and weighing everyday I was able to see what foods were best for me and which diet supplement was working the best at bringing the weight off.
Today, October 03, 2010, I am weighing 232 pounds and I am still averaging 1 to 2 pounds a day, the only time I see my weight have a high fluctuation is the week prior to my menstrual cycle, the week during, and the week after. I have found that the week prior I have gained upwards to six pounds, then during the week of I will loose the access from the week before along with as much as 3 - 5 extra pounds, and finally the week after I have continued to maintain the average of 1 to 3 pounds.
The positive aspects I have found with this weight loss program I have designed for myself is that it is working for me and I cannot say that it will work for everyone, but I am healthier than I have been for the last three years, I have no signs of diabetes, high blood pressure, or cholesterol problems. I will continue to use this plan and modify it to maintain my weight loss until I have reached my goal. Once I have reached my goal I will share my documentation of any and all modifications so others can benefit from my diet and research that I am doing along the way of this journey.
We have all heard that once you pass that 40 year mark everything gets harder, I have to say that for me it has not gotten harder as my determination has gotten stronger. I have found that I spent my 20's and 30's focusing on being the mother to my children that they needed me to be, and during my 40's I was a first time grandmother and I was assisting my daughter parent my grandson. Today, at 49 years young, grandmother of 2 beautiful grandsons, I find myself at my healthiest point in over 20 years, and I am finding pleasures and peace of mind that I did not realize I would be having at this point in my life. I hope that this will give to those that have been wanting to know how I have been loosing my weight and looking younger than most of my friends my age, as well as have so much more energy then my children have and they complain they cannot keep up with me. Life has been hard, but I have received so many blessings that I can honestly say life has been good.
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